Santa Barbara, California.
Many years ago I taught at a private school in La Canada, Ca. I had a student, Steven, from a family with money, yet he dressed acted like a ganster wannabe. I could not understand that his father (an NBC executive) and his mother (a lawyer) allowed this young man to dress and act the way that he did. He said that he would "cap" anyone who got in his way (?). I don't thinkthat he ever fired or owned a gun...
Perhaps he had the servants fooled, but not me. Once he was arrested for shoplifting packs of gum from a convenience store and he had $90 in his wallet! He wanted to be "tough," but I saw through his facade.
Alas, as my student, he admired my Mustang GT 5-speed, 5 litre rocket car.
One day after school, he was admiring the car and I asked if he wanted to go for a ride. Of course he said, "Yes!" and we were soon on the 210 freeway hitting 80 mph. After 30 minutes we were in a bad part of town- a place I would not want to be anytime.
As it was hot, I suggested that we get a Coke. I pulled up in front of a small mom-and-pop store and we got out. I opened the door to the store and let him walk in. I got back in the car with the intent to drive a couple blocks down and turn around, but the neighborhood got worse so I hopped on the freeway to the next exit to turn around and return to the store.
Standing in front of the store was Steven- clad in the huge hockey shirt, dangling "gold" chains, and his pants around his thighs. His eyes were wide as he asked where I had gone. I said, "It's cool, why don't you go over there and hang out with the "locals." At the corner were some tough young men eyeing Steven, me and the car. We were in a "gangsta" area and Steven was VERY uncomfortable (so was I)...
Maybe posing as someone you are not can be dangerous? We left quickly and he was silent on the ride back to the school.
It was weeks before he would talk about the "drive" or even consider riding in the car again (he did love the acceleration!). I asked him if he wanted to go for a ride again, and he looked at me with trepidation. I told him we'd head to the beach (1.5) hours. He finally agreed and on a Friday after school we drove to Santa Barbara. After blazing up the 101 freeway along the coast, we drove down Cabrillo Boulevard. Here were bistros, shops, nice cars, CLEAN streets, and the hustle-bustle of people working and shopping.
On the beach girls tanned and people played volleyball in the clean ocean air as the boats slipped in and out of the marina. On State Street, we passed a man sitting outside at the cafe, working on his laptop. The gleam from his dress shoes matched the gleam from his Porsche parked in the street. I commented to Steve, "What do you think he does?" Steven didn't know, and neither did I, BUT! we both agreed that he had a pretty cool lifestyle to be sipping a latte on a Friday afternoon in the sun at a cafe...
I told Steven that he had the opportunity to do whatever he wanted with his life. I shared that he acts/thinks/desires to be a gangster wannabe and that that is fine, but did he want the lifestyle that we had seen 6 weeks ago? Or did he want what we experinced in Santa Barbara? (I also mentioned that Playboy magazine has found more playmates in Santa Barbara than any other city- you gotta hit the kid's interests!).
He has the financial support to go to college and do something with an education, and I hoped for the best for him.
I left the private school in 1993- he was 16. I wonder what he decided to do?
Teachers open the door to education, but the students have to walk through...
